Sometimes it seems okay to be a little off… but when those days become overwhelming it can make you feel so low. You try to hide it and continue on with your day; and some days you just cant get out of bed. There seems to be a repeating cycle in your way that takes over making you feel like you are falling into a deep hole surrounded by darkness.
What is to become of your life? Your days? When all you can do is cry and scream inside your mind with all the chaos that is going on?
The pain never ceases and you begin to sink deeper and deeper into depression. Getting tired of people telling you it will be okay, tired of struggling and wishing things get better. You pray and cry and cry and pray and once you get slowly back on track, you are knocked back down in the pit hell.
Your head throbs, your stomach gets sick, you cant sleep at night because of all the worrying… Why must struggle exist? Thoughts in your head get worse and you begin to want to take your own life… You begin to wonder if you weren’t here then things would be better and you and your loved ones will have less struggle. You think of a way out, but can you do it? Does it make sense to end your life?
Life is not guaranteed to be easy, but when you seem to go through the same mess over and over in the same way and manner you just get frustrated, you feel alone and lost, a great sense of hopelessness and despair.
Depression can take over your ability to think, move and respond to make decisions. Depression is painful, it is the point in your life that if you have no one to turn to… You can easily give in.
You will smile to keep from crying, tell everyone that you are just fine and that you are happy when in the inside you want to curl up and hide.