5 steps to setting successful personal goals

1. Be realistic.

As you set your goal, start big and work backwards from there. If your ultimate goal is to be a body builder and you don’t currently work out, then your goal should be to work out one day a week.

2. Set yourself up to succeed.

A good rule of thumb is to be 90% sure you can accomplish your initial goal. Once you’ve accomplished that then you can set another goal that is a little bigger. Give yourself a streak of success and it will, mentally, make accomplishing your goals easier.

3. Visualize it.

Think it through, seeing yourself succeeding in your goal. But don’t stop there. It can also help to visualize things that might derail you and the positive ways you’ll deal with those setbacks. That way when they come up in real life you’ve already decided how to handle them.

 4. Write it down.

After visualizing your success, write it down. Write it in present tense, as if it’s already true, as specifically as you can. For example, “I am a body builder. I go to the gym every day. I eat well and take care of my body.”

5. Don’t berate yourself when you fail.

Because there will be failures. We all experience them. Don’t give up on all of your progress because of one setback and don’t be too hard on yourself. Change is hard and you’re doing your best as you grow into your new self.




5 Strategies to Reclaim Hope

Awareness is becoming more fully grounded in the present moment.

Developing the ability to stay in the present moment is an important step in recovery. Many abuse survivors spend a lot of time fixating on the past or thinking about the future, but healing comes through recognizing what your current thoughts and feelings are. The first step in learning to manage your emotions is becoming aware of them. Cultivating a willingness to be fully in the present moment will help. To be present, you need to be aware of what is going on, both inside and outside of you. In a moment of crisis, you can use this strategy to become aware of your body and bring yourself back to the present.

Acknowledgement helps you accept where you are on your individual healing journey.

As you travel on your healing journey, you need to acknowledge and accept where you are right now. Acknowledgement includes being honest about past traumatic events and the effects they’ve had on you. But acknowledgement doesn’t stop there. It can help you realize that abuse is not your fault and you can heal. Acknowledgement encourages you to recognize that healing will take time. Everyone’s journey is different, and you need to continually assess where you are on yours.

Power Through Surrender is knowing what to fight and, more importantly, what not to fight.

At first, surrender might seem like a word that indicates defeat, but surrender is a way to reclaim power. Power comes through determining what and when to fight. Triggers and unpleasant memories will surface in your daily life. You might try to fight those unwanted thoughts, but fighting often isn’t the most effective approach. If you recognize unwanted thoughts and let them be, they will dissipate faster than if you focus on and fight them.

Mindfulness is the ability to focus on empowering thoughts and feelings while choosing to coexist with unproductive thoughts and feelings.

Mindfulness comes from the realization that you have the power of choice in spite of the trauma you’ve experienced. When negative thoughts come into your awareness, the conscious part of your brain can do something about it. You can’t control all of the thoughts that come into your mind, but you can control the way you react to those thoughts. This strategy isn’t meant to minimize what you’ve been through. You can’t change the past, but you can learn to manage it. Through mindfulness, you can develop habits of thinking that will help you manage your responses to your past on an ongoing basis.

Faith is the act of moving forward based on your belief that healing is possible, even if you may not see it yet.

Faith is a power that has the capacity to change things. It involves believing in a brighter future and believing in something that is bigger than you. This belief doesn’t necessarily need to be rooted in religion or spirituality. Ultimately, you need to believe that you can recover even though the process takes effort and time. When you apply the 5 Strategies to Reclaim Hope, you will heal, but the journey might not go as quickly or as smoothly as you’d like. Use faith to keep your perspective: tomorrow can be better based on what you do today.


#“I am a survivor. I am a wife! I am a mom! I am a daughter! I am a sister! I am a friend! I am hope. I am love. I am an encouragement to other women. These words get to define me, not a number in a statistic!

# http://youniquefoundation.org/faith


DOVE Inc. Why I do it…

Domestic Violence awareness

I chose to reach out and speak against Domestic violence, sexual assault, crimes against children and eating disorders and suicidal ideation due to my own traumatic experiences. You may not expect it, you may not think that you can live from day to day, but it truly feels good knowing that I can help someone, share my story in full detail and change lives.

Traumatic experiences has many effects and in different ways. Living with ongoing depression, having PTSD, days of anxiety stricken thoughts and triggers that leave your mind unsettled from the unknown and uncertainty of even trying to make friends, start a new relationship an more….

We can not save lives if we speak after they are gone… Start spreading awareness NOW!! Right now in this very moment.


#DOVE: spreading your wings to fly!


Domestic Violence awareness

We typically think of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a response to a horrible experience during military combat…While it’s true that, according to the National institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the risk remains highest among those in military service, any abnormal traumatic event can elicit symptoms. The disorder often affects people who have survived rape, natural disasters, physical abuse and severe accidents.

Symptoms of PTSD include relieving the traumatic event via flashbacks, nightmares, and frightening thoughts as well as avoiding reminders of the event, feeling guilty or emotionally numb, being easily startled, feeling tense, and having trouble sleeping. Treatment includes psychotherapy (talk therapy) as well as antidepressant medications.

Two other recently studied treatment approaches –  Guided imagery and cognitive therapy – have been shown to help relieve PTSD symptoms and in some cases even cure the disorder. One study combined standard PTSD treatment with healing touch (gentle touch to restore the body’s energy balance) and guided imagery, which uses visualization by the patient.



Purpose driven…

Domestic Violence awareness

Although the dark clouds may cover you, there will be sunshine for those days that you stand and fight for a piece of mind. Do things that encourage you, makes you smile or just has you curious all over again. Learn a new hobby, join a book club, start a girls night out…. but whatever YOU do; make sure its from your heart.

Listen to the love inside you and not the voices of man… when you are lonely and no one calls, or checks on you… Just know that you create Joy from the love of GOD!! You are never alone when God is your best friend.

Live your life with purpose… on purpose!